Do you miss your best friend? Do you miss your partner in life?
Do you wonder how to get them back?
This blog will focus on what men want from a partner.
The idea of “go to counseling” is popular among couples who are struggling with getting along, maintaining respect, keeping the love alive, keeping the family unit together, forgiveness, resentments, etc… I could go on with a laundry list of the things all couples have issues with at some point in their union.
During counseling, one of the concepts I approach with couples is part of the paradigm that includes: WHAT DO I WANT FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP? When I ask this question during counseling sessions, I either get bewildered looks or some reasonable answers like “love, honesty, trust, respect, understanding”. These are some of the things we want in a relationship, but I am looking at the idea of WHAT DO I NEED FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP in order to feel ok. Yes, as simple as “ok”. Ok with me; Ok with you: Ok with our life; Ok with going to work: Ok with children or pets; Ok with in-laws; Ok with your friends and mine. Get the idea? What do I need from this relationship so I can be OK.
So, if we divide the genders and ask men what they want/need from a relationship and then aggregate it to the point that all of the reasonable answers are put under an umbrella term, the answer is ACCEPTANCE.
Men want acceptance. They want to know their partner loves them and accepts them for exactly who they are…flaws and all. They want to know their partner accepts their opinions, their help, their career, their abilities…the whole package. They do not want to be nagged to be or do something that challenges the idea that they are accepted by you. They do not want to be asked or told to change.
If men do not feel accepted, they crumble on the inside. Men bond closely to their mates/partners when they feel accepted NOT when they feel inadequate.
Want to know how to “fix” this in your partnership? Either wait for another post, or contact my office for an appointment or a consult.
I will address what women want in my next blog post.